Cebu: The First Time I Learned to Spread My Wings…

The first step away from home

Before Cebu, my world was small.

I grew up in a very sheltered environment. We lived inside a compound, and within that compound was our school. Everything we needed was practically within reach, and because the area was gated, we didn’t simply go out whenever we wanted.

Our Sundays were usually the exception. We would go to church and occasionally go to the town center to buy something we needed. Otherwise, our life revolved around our home, our school, our family, and the community we grew up in.

There is a much bigger story behind that childhood, and perhaps I’ll tell it in another article.

But for this story, I want to talk about Cebu—the place where I first began to spread my wings.

When I left for college, I remember feeling a mixture of excitement, fear, and sadness.

I was excited because, for the first time, I was going to experience life outside our hometown. I would meet people I had never known, see places I had never seen, and experience a kind of independence that was completely new to me.

But I was also afraid.

I had never really been away from my grandparents like this before.

And then there was the sadness.

Because somewhere in the excitement of starting college, I began to realize that I was also leaving behind the people who had raised and cared for me.

The First Time We Were Allowed to Live on Our Own

My grandmother finally allowed my brother and me to live away from home while we attended college.

We were still being looked after by our uncle, but we rented a small boarding house near our school where my brother and I could live on our own.

For someone who had grown up in such a sheltered environment, this felt like a completely different world.

Suddenly, I was surrounded by people outside the community I had always known.

I could meet new people.

I could make my own decisions.

I could experience things without my grandparents constantly beside me.

In many ways, it felt like I had finally been given the freedom to spread my wings.

And looking back, I realize how much trust my grandmother had placed in us.

She trusted us enough to live on our own because she had already spent years teaching us the values she wanted us to carry with us—good manners, wisdom, respect, and responsibility.

She couldn’t follow us everywhere anymore.

But she had already given us what we needed to begin finding our own way.

The Bus Ride That Made It Real

I still remember my first day as a freshman.

My brother and I boarded a bus headed toward our boarding house.

I was excited about college, but somewhere during that journey, the reality of what was happening finally sank in.

I was leaving my grandparents.

And I couldn’t stop crying.

It wasn’t simply because I was going to a new city.

It was because, for the first time, I understood that things were changing.

The home I had always known would no longer be my everyday life.

My grandparents wouldn’t be there when I woke up.

They wouldn’t be there every day to guide me.

And suddenly, the freedom I had been excited about came with a little bit of heartbreak.

I was growing up.

And growing up meant leaving something behind.

Learning to Get Up on My Own

College became more than just an education for me.

It was my first real lesson in independence.

For the first time, I had to learn how to make decisions on my own.

And, of course, I made mistakes.

A lot of them.

I did things that many young people do when they’re finally given freedom. I made choices I wouldn’t necessarily make today. I learned some lessons the easy way, but many others the hard way.

There were moments when I disappointed the people who loved me.

And as the only daughter, I know I broke my family’s heart in ways that still make me reflect today—especially my grandparents’.

Do I regret some of the things I did?

Perhaps, yes.

But do I regret the lessons?

No.

Because those mistakes became part of the person I eventually became.

Cebu taught me that independence isn’t simply about being free to do whatever you want.

It’s about learning that your choices have consequences—and having the courage to grow from them.

The Lessons I Didn’t Understand Back Then

There are moments even today when I ask God:

“Why did You allow those things to happen to me?”

There are experiences from my younger years that I wish I could have understood differently.

But sometimes, when I look at the person I’ve become, another thought comes to me:

Maybe I wouldn’t be this strong if I hadn’t gone through those things.

Maybe those mistakes taught me discernment.

Maybe the heartbreaks taught me to value myself.

Maybe the consequences taught me to set higher standards for my life.

Maybe the freedom I was given in Cebu was not simply freedom to make choices—it was the beginning of learning how to take responsibility for them.

I don’t believe every painful thing that happens to us is necessarily meant to happen.

But I do believe that we can choose what to do with what happened to us.

And that has become one of the greatest lessons of my life.

Cebu Was More Than My College Years

When I think about Cebu now, I don’t only remember classrooms, boarding houses, or college life.

I remember the first time I stepped outside the little world I had always known.

It was where I met people from different backgrounds.

Where I experienced freedom.

Where I made mistakes.

Where I learned independence.

Where I missed home.

Where I learned that growing up can be both exciting and painful.

And most importantly, it was where I began discovering who I was outside the protection of my family.

My grandparents gave me the foundation.

Cebu gave me the space to test it.

Our Experiences Are Our Best Teachers

If I could speak to the younger version of myself—the girl crying on that bus because she didn’t want to leave her grandparents—I would probably tell her:

Don’t be so afraid.

You’re going to make mistakes.

You’re going to disappoint people.

You’re going to make choices you wish you could change.

But you’re also going to learn.

You’re going to become stronger.

You’re going to discover things about yourself that you never knew existed.

And one day, you’ll look back and realize that even the chapters you once wished you could erase became part of the person you are today.

Our experiences really are some of our greatest teachers.

And perhaps that’s what Cebu gave me most of all:

Not just a college education,

but my first real lesson in becoming my own person.

I left home as a sheltered girl who was afraid to let go.

I didn’t know it then, but I was beginning a journey that would eventually take me much farther than Cebu.

And perhaps that was the very first time I truly learned what it meant to spread my wings.

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